Introduction

　Based on the thinking of I Ching, this paper develops a Chinese model of relationship development. The eight trigrams of I Ching are used to represent the eight developmental stages of human relationship. From the developmental stages five distinct patterns of relationship are delineated.  Then, a set of communication behaviors for establishing a successful relationship is provided. Finally, implications and conclusions of the paper are discussed.

　No matter it is the grief or pleasure we intend to share with others, we are seeking to be included in a human relationship network. From the first moment when we were born we began to weavea social network through different channels of communication.  It is the human nature that we have a strong need to be cared and loved, and when we are growing, we develop passions for caring and loving others. Through our life we are constantly developing, maintaining, and terminating a relationship with persons we know and we don't know. We are social creatures rather than isolated islands. 

　Human relationship refers to how people deal with each other in daily life.  The desire of being attached to others is based on Schutz's concept of "social needs." According to Schutz (1966), we perpetually strive to fulfill three social needs through communication: inclusion, control, and affection.  Inclusion is a sense of belonging. Through our life we have a need to be a member of different human groups, including cultural, religious, social, ethnic, academic, and other networks. Maintaining relationships with other persons in different groups is an important way to develop our own personal identity, because in groups our individuality and distinctiveness are recognized (Mader & Mader, 1990).

　Control is the ability to be in charge of our own life and to influence people around us. We gain the power of control over ourselves and others because of our knowledge, attraction, and authority. Usually, the various behaviors or roles we play in the network of human relationship can satisfy our need of control. These behaviors include initiating a new idea, providing useful information and opinion, energizing actions, supporting other's idea, resolving conflicts, promoting communication, harmonizing relationships, and actively listening to others. In other words, to gain or to show our control over ourselves and others we must know when and how to play an equal, superior, or inferior role in the process of communication.

　Affection refers to the desire to show our love and to be loved by other persons. To keep the relationship in a satisfactory condition the needs of inclusion and control must be tempered by affection. Affection fosters passion, commitment, and intimate relationships. It is the affection that ties persons together physically, emotionally, and intellectually.

　Human relationship then can be defined as an interactional process of connecting ourselves with others in the network of social needs. It contains the three ingredients of inclusion, control, and affection. The connecting process among people may lead to a positive or negative result. In addition, because the way to perceive and fulfill social needs is conditioned by culture, people of different cultural backgrounds will vary in the process of establishing a relationship. In order to further understand human relationship this paper aims to develop a Chinese model of human relationship development based on the thinking of I Ching. 

A Chinese Model of Human Relationship Development

　Three ontological assumptions based on I Ching guide the Chinese behaviors (Chai & Chai, 1969). First, the universe is a great whole in which all is but a transitional process, with no fixed substance for its substratum.  Human relationship is then ever in a state of change and transformation.  Second, the transforming process of the universe does not proceed onward, but revolves in an endless cycle. Human relationship is then changing according to this cycle of the universe like the succession of day and night and the periodical ebb and flow of the tide. Finally, there is no ending for the transforming process of the universe. The development of human relationship is then never absolutely complete or finished.  

　This transforming, endless, and cyclic interactional process emphasizes a holistic orientation to human communication that represents a structure of dynamic balance among interactants. It shows a spirit of enlightenment in which we communicate with dignity and influence on the basis of mutuality and interdependence. In other words, it is an atmosphere where we are able to be "communicated with" (Thayer, 1987). Thus, to develop a harmonious connection becomes the cardinal principle in human relationship for the Chinese (Chen, 1994).

　Five characteristics can help us understand how the Chinese model of harmonious human relationship operates:

　First, human relationship is dynamic. It is ever in a state of transformation with an ongoing and everchanging activity. In human relationship we constantly affect each other through communication.  

　Second, human relationship is hierarchical. The hierarchy of human relationship includes strangers, acquaintances, and intimate friends. Different levels of relationship hierarchy require a different degree of involvement in aspects of inclusion, control, and affection.

　Third, human relationship is reciprocal. A reciprocal relationship exists when members in the relationship network can satisfy each other's needs of inclusion, control, and affection to a certain degree. A prolonged reciprocal incompatibility usually leads to the breakdown of the relationship.

　Fourth, human relationship is unique. The bonding of human relationship demands a special set of interactional rules that make it distinctive from impersonal relationship in which interactions are governed by social norms or standardized rules.

　Finally, human relationship is interdependent and irreplaceable. In the network of human relationship the fate of members is associated, connected, and inseparable. When we form an interpersonal bond, we begin to affect and depend on each other. For example, while our partner is depressive, excited, angry, or rejoicing, we inevitably share his or her emotions. The change of our feelings in different stages of relationship development, especially when a person we love dies, also shows the feature of irreplaceability.  

　Based on these characteristics and ontological assumptions, the interaction of the eight trigrams delineated in I Ching, a classic text completed in Chou Dynasty (1150248 B.C.) provides a dialectic process in which the development of human relationship can be explained.

　The eight trigrams of I Ching symbolize eight nature attributes with each accompanied with a portion of the 24hour time span of a day. They can be used to represent the eight transforming stages of human relationship development. The eight stages are: (1) arousing, (2) penetrating, (3) clinging, (4) receptive, (5) joyful, (6) creative, (7) abysmal, and (8) still.  Each stage is both an effect of the previous stage and a cause of the next stage.  The cyclic process of relationship development allows up and down movement in the same stage. A change would follow after the movement reaches its climax in the same stage. In addition, when the relationship reaches the end of still stage, we may move back to the first stage to reestablish a new relationship with the same person, or move to the other cycle in which a relationship with another person is established. 

The Arousing Stage

　The first stage symbolized by "Chen" (thunder  the arousing), parallelling 4:30  7:30 of the morning hours, that signifies the arousing power for developing a relationship with others. It is the birth stage of human relationship. Like the sun is preparing to rise, this stage represents the internal process of our psychological need or motivation to develop an association by emotionally attaching to someone else. This psychological need for inclusion, affection, and control is often unconscious. It becomes an internal stimulus that serves as a drive to impel us to act in the later phase.

　Characterized by the intrapersonal process in which the movement is dominated by our personality factors, at this stage we begin to form impressions of others by categorizing and evaluating them in terms of the types we like or dislike. When the motivation for associating others is externalized, we enter the second stage.

The Penetrating Stage

　The second stage, symbolized by "sun" (breeze  the penetrating), represents the continuation of relationship development by a gently penetrating effort.  It parallels the morning hours of 7:30  10:30. The breeze, generated by the rising sun, gently penetrates everywhere and attaches to everything. It brings up the lifesap from the earth (Wilhelm, 1979). We begin to contact the type of person we intend to develop a connection.  Gathering information not by force in order to reduce the uncertainty level characterized this stage.  

　At this stage, we try to present a positive image following the scripts predetermined by communication rules or social norms. Communication patterns tend to be structured and the contents mostly focus on the demographic information. We begin to make an effort to reduce the uncertainty level by inducing superficial and conventional conversations that tend to include various topics. We also tend to concentrate our attention on our partner's physical appearance. The process leads us to identify similarities and develop a casual relationship without inputing a specific commitment.  The status of a stranger changes to an acquaintance. 

　With increasingly understanding each other in the latter phase of this stage, we develop a confidence to disclose our passion and enthusiasm for further attachment.

The Clinging Stage

　"Li" (fire  the clinging) symbolizes the third stage which parallels 10:30am  1:30pm. The components of our passion and enthusiasm burst into the flame like the thriving sun at noon, bright, blazing, and vigorous.  We openly express our desire to emotionally and psychologically cling to each other. Because the occurrence of fire must rely on its relationship with other elements (e.g., the flame exists because wood is present), a successful clinging is decided by the response from our partner.  

　At this stage, we develop a personal association and begin to disclose and solicit information about each other's attitudes and opinions. The amount of personal and psychological information is increasing. It is at this moment we strongly feel a need to move the relationship to an intimate level by increasing the amount of interaction with more spontaneous and informal codes that are created by us and our partners. Personal uniqueness is clearly displayed in this stage.  If we receive a positive feedback from our partner, we continue to move forward to the next stage.

The Receptive Stage

　The fourth stage, symbolized by "Kun" (earth  the receptive) and parallelled 1:30  4:30 in the afternoon, represents the reception of each other's relationship. The sun is moving to the west; the evening hours are arriving for the time of resting. It is the preparing time for reaping the consequences of our action and behavior. Our mind is open like the earth which is considered to be vast, spatial, and receptive.  Thus, the relationship in this stage is in bud. The flower is ready to bloom.  

　At this stage, a prestage of intimate relationship is formed. The acquaintance becomes a good friend or a lover. We begin to develop a physical and social closeness and intensify interpersonal commitment to each other. We begin to match each other's life pace, spend more time together privately and publicly.  In the latter phase of this stage we are well prepared to form a world together. 

The Joyful Stage

　The fifth stage is "Tui" (lake  the joyous) that is parallelled with the time period of 4:30  7:30pm. The lake is considered as a smiling mouth and symbolizes the enjoyment of the harvest.  With a joyful feeling to each other an interpersonal bond is built. The relationship in this stage is like the shining, transparent water of the lake in which both parties are clearly mirrored.

　At this stage, we are coming together through a public ritual, such as engagement or marriage, that shows a public commitment to each other.  Personal bonding leads the relationship into a state of security and stability.

The Creative Stage

　The sixth stage, symbolized by "Chien" (heaven  the creative) and parallelled 7:30  10:30 at night, represents the sublimity of the intimate relationship. The heaven is strong, creative, and moves forward like onedimensional time. This stage is characterized by the purity of the relationship which leads to the state of acme.  

　However, a certain severity is concealed in this apex stage because the transformational law dictates that as soon as the relationship reaches its extremity, it will reverse its course. This transformational force is mainly caused by the impact of internal and external factors or the environment. The inability to cope with the environmental changes and sustain the pure state of the relationship at this moment begins to develop the deteriorating elements in the interpersonal bonding. Conflicts begin to emerge.

The Abysmal Stage

　The deteriorating relationship leads to the seventh stage which is symbolized by Kan (water  the abysmal) and is parallelled with 10:30  1:30 at midnight hours. Like the water in motion, this stage is the waterfall that "rushes downward, is pulverized, rises high above again as clouds, and descends once more as rain;" it is the abysmal that "knows no limitations and unhesitatingly plunges into the depths" (Wilhelm, 1979, p. 9).  

　The relationship in this stage has lost its right way in which we are entangled in the pit of the abyss with misfortune. The harmonious relationship is disturbed. We tend to lose the desire for future interaction and tend to feel awkward to face each other. The bonding relationship is gradually switching to individual emphasis in which we begin to find out that we are actually different from each other. Without patience, perseverance, sincerity, and the lasting virtue the relationship is doomed to transform to a motionless state.

The Still Stage

　The last stage is symbolized by "Ken" (mountain  keeping still) and parallels 1:30am  4:30am. Endeavoring to continue the old relationship is halted. Like a mountain keeping still it is a state of rest because the interactional movement has come to an end. We feel more comfortable to keep silent. The frequency and depth of interaction between us are greatly decreasing. We desire to reestablish a life style.

　Two consequences arise from this stage. First, we keep our toes still, then our calves, our hips, our trunk, our jaw, and our heart. The lack of desire to move toward our partner marks the consummation of the effort to attain individual solititude and tranquility. Second, the time is moving on despite the physical and psychological stagnancy. It will move to the stage of "Chen" to form a cyclic process of human relationship development. This implies either to redevelop the old relationship with our partner or to develop a new relationship with another person.

Chinese Patterns of Human Relationship

　The practice of the Chinese model of human relationship brings forth several distinct patterns: Particularistic, longterm, ingroup, formal, and personal relationships (Yum, 1988).

　In the society of particularistic relationships differences in age, sex, role, or status are maximized, and mutuality and interdependency of the relationship is encouraged (Condon, 1977). Particularistic relationships are governed by a set of specific communication rules and patterns that provide individuals with directions concerning interactions (Chen & chung, 1994).  Individuals know whom to talk to, when, and how in different situations. Thus, particularistic relationships are established based on the levels of hierarchy and are relatively predictable. For example, due to the hierarchical structure of human relationship, we see that a closest relationship is usually established between those of the similar rather than different age, and they are attracted to same sex relationships (Cronen & Shuter, 1983). To the Chinese, the particular relationship functions to avoid embarrassing encounters or serious conflicts (Hwang, 1988; Jocobs, 1979).    

　Longterm relationships foster a complementary social reciprocity in which interpersonal relationship is viewed as asymmetrical and reciprocally obligatory. People always feel indebted to others (Chen & Chung, 1994).  For example, the Chinese always show a deep appreciation and heartily try to find an opportunity to return the favor in the social interaction (Shiang, 1982). In the organizational setting, the superiorsubordinate relationship reflects a complementary interpersonal relationship in which the superiors always show a holistic and fraternalistic concern to the subordinates. For example, Chung (1992) points out that the Chinese superiors often try to help the subordinators solve their family problems. 

　The Chinese tend to develop private relationships by clearly distinguishing ingroup from outgroup members. To the Chinese, ingroup members are the main sources of similarity and affinity that lead to mutual attraction. For example, the Chinese usually develop a relationship with five types of ingroup members: (1) Shieh Chin (blood relationships), including one's own family, relatives outside the household, wife's relatives, and relative of different surnames, (2) Ton Shiang (demographic relationships), including persons from the same geographical area, (3) Ton Shi (colleague relationships), including persons working in the same organization, (4) Shi Shen (teacherstudent relationships) and (5) Ton Shueh (classmate relationships).  

　In the vertical cultures with obligatory relationships, like the Chinese, the process of relationship development is much more formal than those in the horizontal cultures. The formality leads the Chinese more likely to rely on a gobetween or mediator to indirectly initiate a new relationship with each other or to resolve a conflict (Ma, 1992). The practice functions to avoid an embarrassing encounter or losing one's face. Therefore, the use of formal codes of conduct, titles, and honorifics are very common in the social interaction, especially in the language expression. For example, the Chinese language system contains many pronouns and honorifics that are used to indicate the degree of formality and relationship intimacy between the interactants (Condon & Yousef, 1975).  

　The overlap of personal and public relationships characterizes the Chinese style. The Chinese feel more comfortable to have an interaction in a personal or human environment. The vague boundary between personal and public relationships usually creates more contacts for members in a group or organization. The frequent contacts in turn provide a great opportunity for members to identify mutual interests and communication contexts that help to build trust and consensus (Chen & Chung, 1994). The principle of mutual reciprocity makes the Chinese believe that a good public relationship will be achieved after a warm personal relationship is developed (Yum, 1988).

Communication Behaviors in Relationship Development

　The ontological assumptions and distinct patterns of relationship development provide the Chinese with a set of communication behaviors for establishing a successful relationship embedded in the principle of harmony. Those communication behaviors include reciprocity, emotional control, avoidance of aggressive behaviors, avoidance of the expression of "no," and face saving (Chen & Xiao, 1993). 

　Reciprocity suggests that harmony is the goal of both parties in the process of relationship development. It requires us to show mutual responsibility in interactions. The feeling of "indebtedness" developed from this kind of reciprocally obligatory relationship prepares us to return a favor to our partner. 

　The practice tends to obscure boundary between private and public relationships that leads the Chinese to favor a personal rather than a businesslike atmosphere in interactions. Thus, in order to successfully develop a relationship we need to keep frequent contacts, develop mutual understanding, and develop personal trust and mutual interests with our partners.

　Emotional control is the ability of selfdiscipline and selfrestraint. In order to promote harmony in the process of relationship development we should subdue our emotions in public as a symbolic expression of promoting group welfare and neglecting the personal desires (Eberhard, 1971). Because showing raw emotion immediately threatens harmonious relationship, we should conceal our sentiments in interactions.

　Selfrestraint and moderate behaviors bring forth the avoidance of aggressive behaviors. Carefully and politely express common courtesy to each other is important to develop a relationship smoothly. Showing aggressive behaviors indicates impoliteness which will produce an insult not easily forgiven (Shenkar & Ronen, 1987). 

　The obligation of courteous reception of the other party explains the lack of saying "no" for the Chinese. Because the expression of "no" may be taken as signifying an uncooperative attitude, the word "no" is hardly used by the Chinese in the network of reciprocal and hierarchical relationship. In the process of relationship development one would rarely receives a "no" from the Chinese, even they mean "no" they would give an evasive answer or subtly show it in a nonverbal way instead of expressing it verbally (Chu, 1988). Patience and learning the hiding connotations of verbal statements and nonverbal cues that especially used to indicate the negative meanings are essential in relationship formation.  

　Showing due respect for our partner's feeling or saving each other's face is critical to keep a relationship going harmoniously. Even though we are overwhelmingly strong, it is advisable that we should avoid playing a dominant part in the relationship network. The use of insulting language is selfhumiliating. Any conscious act of making others lose face will also damage one's own image. Face saving is a means to highlight our selfesteem. Losing one's face usually causes an emotional uneasiness to the Chinese (Huang, 1988). When in a conflict emerges in the deteriorating stage of relationship situation, in order to save face the Chinese usually use an intermediary to help them solve the problem. This indirect communication pattern leads the Chinese to pursue a smooth verbal and nonverbal interaction in the process of interactions.  

Implications and Conclusions

　This paper delineates a Chinese model of human relationship development.  The model is built on the principle of harmony that represents a structure of dynamic balance between the two parties. Thus, the ideal human relationship is to reach an equilibrium state of peace in which we can retain a feeling of joy, security, and togetherness. The orientation leads to a set of communication behaviors considered to be appropriate by the Chinese in interactions. It also reveals three major differences between the Chinese and Westerners: First, comparing to Western models of human relationship development (Beger & Calabrese, 1975; Devito, 1992; Knapp & Vangelisti, 1992), the Chinese model emphasizes more the smooth and gradual movement toward attachment and deemphasizes the separation. Even if the harmonious relationship is disturbed in stages of the abysmal and keeping still, the cyclic process of relationship development provides an opportunity with the returning to the arousing stage to redevelop a new relationship with the same partner. 

　Second, the Chinese model shows that less verbal communication and more nonverbal expressions are used in the process of relationship development. The Chinese tend to internalize the information in interactions and to possess a higher ability to read nonverbal cues and expect their counterparts to read their minds (Gudykunst, 1983; Hall, 1976).  

　Because the Chinese place an emphasis on the concepts of harmony and face saving, they tend to be more interested in gathering demographic or background information of their counterparts before and in initial interactions (Adler, 1991; Nakane, 1984). The Chinese consider that gathering background information enables them to more effectively predict their counterparts' behaviors. This is a way to avoid unpleasant or embarrassing interactions or unnecessary frictions.

　Finally, the deemphasis on verbal expressions leads the Chinese disclose significantly less than Westerners (Chen, 1995; Gudykunst & Nishida, 1986). Barlund (1974, 1989) explained that the difference is caused by the emphasis on harmony, group interests, formal relationship, private selves, and nonverbal forms of disclosure. In contrast, Westerners tend to emphasize informal relationship, personal interests, greater social spontaneity, public selves, and direct verbal expressions. In addition, to the Chinese, successful persons refer to those who know what they are talking about and know how to show honest and positive attitudes in selfdisclosure, instead of those who talk more or show more feelings (Chen, 1995).  Research has consistently shown that the Chinese, compared to Americans, are highly reluctant to initiate conversations with strangers, are hesitant to verbally express themselves, and show more selfrestraint in interactions (Nakanishi, 1987; Ogawa, 1979; Wolfson & Pearce, 1983).

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